Hurricane Irma left her mark on South Florida. Five months ago her 90 to 150 mile per hour winds destroyed tens of thousands of trees but here are some interesting survivors in Fort Myers and Naples. (Roll over each photo for the caption.)
Dear Big Game Hunters:
You are puny, spineless amateurs. You think taking a big trip and shooting a big animal with a big gun is big fun. Any brainless baboon with a bazooka can take down an elephant. But it takes genuine brawn, cunning, and backbone to bag this challenging trophy: A tree stump.
You don’t have to travel far to find this elusive game. Its natural habitat is underground. But, since Hurricane Irma, the stump is abundant in South Florida. It is open season and there is no bag limit…but very few burly adrenalin-junkies dare take the challenge of removing this denizen of the dirt.
Don’t let its silence and immobility fool you into thinking this will be easy. Its woody roots number in the thousands. You are outnumbered. They travel wide and deep. The thick tap-root will often elude your sharpest spade. It will certainly put up a fight and resist your violent efforts to eradicate it from its home.
Often this prey will choose the shelter of foundation plantings making it impossible for heavy machinery to approach. Here is where muscle and prowess must prevail. Here is my step-by-step system to claim your next trophy, if you dare.
The most rewarding moment of this capture is wrapping a tow chain around this behemoth and dragging it into the sunlight. (Maybe now you can put that Range Rover into four-wheel drive for the first time and tug.) Here is a trophy that you won’t hang on a wall. But after the day-long struggle, you can claim it with a clean conscience.
FNGLA Certified Horticulture Professional.